Wide open communication

Unfortunately, we didn’t get to go to Colombia a week later. The main psychologist who denied our case left for a vacation, so the committee recommended we not try to appeal without him there.

Sigh. Our agency’s director asked when we could go, and they said they hoped to give us a date within a few days.

So much for using Mike’s vacation time. Life remained in limbo, and I could hardly keep going with life so up in the air. Our faith stayed strong, but our flesh grew weaker with each passing moment.

Juan David seemed more settled after our last conversation. September just began, but Halloween already occupied his mind! We often compared our cultures and customs, so he wanted to tell me all about how they celebrate Halloween, his favorite holiday.

“I love to dress up in costumes. Can you send me one? Please?”

I never sent a package to Colombia because it could easily cost hundreds of dollars. If you attempt a more inexpensive option, your package could take months to arrive, if it arrived at all. However, I said I would look for costumes to send him before Halloween. I thought for sure I’d fly to Colombia before then at least to appeal, so I figured I’d take the costume with me.

That sweet boy also said his house parent agreed to let me keep calling the kids together on Saturday afternoons, so I did. I even put them on speaker phone so Mike and David could hear them. They seemed happiest whenever I called them together. I cherished Saturday afternoons, knowing I could talk to them and also hear their voices interacting with each other.

I didn’t realize Julian stood in the background each time, watching them interact with me over the phone. He saw their faces light up when they heard my voice, and he witnessed how much they adored me. Sadly, I never took into account what all he might suffer, knowing he’d lose them soon. They would gain a new family while he lost the only family he had left.

Neither Juan David nor Viviana mentioned Julian very much. Viviana shares a birthday month with Julian, her birthday only four days after his. On her birthday earlier in the year, she’d said her brother Juan David had a present for her. When I asked Juan David about the present, he said his brother had the money to buy it, not him. The first I’d really heard about Julian, now I knew he had a job and a way to make money.

Now, almost six months later, Juan David suddenly talked more about Julian. “If you adopt me, can I call my brother and send him letters?”

We, of course, planned to let them have as much contact with their brother as we could afford financially. We knew we likely wouldn’t be able to visit him often in Colombia because of the expense, but we wanted to encourage any other form of communication between them.

The silence regarding our appeal, though, wreaked havoc on me emotionally. I clung to Scripture and to Christian song lyrics like never before. I journaled about everything God taught me. His fingerprints smothered this story. Yet the days just passed by, keeping my children separated from a mother who wanted to love all over them.

They soon granted me permission to talk to Juan David three different nights a week, plus Saturdays. I thanked God for the kindness his house parents showed me. I cherished each phone call with those kids, and now e-mails from Juan David, too. I knew God kept our channel of communication wide open for a reason.