Not my smartest move

Is this real? I trusted God moved things along quickly now. I didn’t want to guard my heart. I only wanted to board a plane for Colombia as soon as possible.

In the meantime, Juan David struggled with intense anxiety, although he didn’t know anything about the situation with our case. I tried to call him one evening, but he wasn’t there. The male house parent took advantage of my call to talk with me pretty seriously about him for the first time.

“He’s really anxious about you coming for him.  He longs to be with your family.” His voice spoke so kindly to me, but his words made me as anxious as Juan David, longing to get this process over with. 

“We are doing everything we can to make the adoption possible, but the process is difficult and complicated. Can I call him later this evening?” Since I couldn’t talk frankly with Juan David about the adoption, it felt good to explain our efforts to the man who lived with him.

“Of course.  Your phone calls always lift his spirits.” He knew how much we loved that boy. His final comment encouraged me.

I called later, but I only heard a busy signal. When I finally got through, Juan David had already fallen asleep.

I felt horrible. A female house parent answered this time, so I asked if I could possibly call during the weekend.

“Yes, that will be fine. You can call around eight o’clock tomorrow morning.” Her kind voice set me at ease.

I called Juan David the next morning right at eight o’clock. We shared a sweet conversation, but he sounded sad. “Your house parent told me you’re having a rough time. I’m sorry you feel so anxious. I promise you I will come.” I didn’t promise I’d adopt him, just that I’d come. In fact, I assumed at that moment we'd head to Colombia within the next two weeks.

Not my smartest move. Actually, one of the worst decisions I could have made in the whole process. Now I unintentionally played with his heart.

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I explained again that I couldn’t promise anything regarding an adoption. “You know we want to adopt you, but we don't make the final decision. Both of our governments need to agree on the best situation for you.”

However, the boy still wanted me to know how he would help around the house, with all the chores, etc. He already claimed the adoption as reality.

Little did I know at the time that children from his orphanage traveled to the States every year, and almost all of them found families. No wonder he seemed to know more than what I even told him. He knew how it worked, but in his young world, it took way too long.