Over the
following six months, I stood back in awe while God let me check off almost
every item on my “list” as He granted me each desire. Deep down in my heart, I
hoped for another chance to adopt Viviana if the committee did not match her
with a family by the time we made it to Colombia. I prayed for her day and
night, while she and I sent sweet messages to one another through Julian.
Yet one more bittersweet moment remained. Be careful when you ask God
to grant you the desires of your heart, because He may do so more quickly than
you think or even want.
“They found a
mother for Viviana. She’s coming to adopt her in two weeks, on February 7th.”
Julian struggled to tell me the news, overjoyed and relieved for his sister,
though heartbroken himself. Not even a month had passed since I wrote my letter
to God expressing my desire for her adoption. Before anyone even had time to
process what happened, she moved to Europe to begin her new life.
My princess
finally had a mommy of her own. Julian and I felt thrilled for her, but my
heart broke to lose her again, and it crushed Julian to finally have to let go
of his beautiful little sister he had loved for so long. They told him she
could contact him once she had enough time to bond well with her mother. Who
knew how long that might take?
I found Julian online the day before Viviana left, a couple hours
before my normal time to call. He planned to see her one more time that
evening, so I asked if he wanted me to call on a different day.
“No. I am so
sad today. I need to hear your voice.” We prayed together so faithfully for her
to gain a family. Yet when God answered our prayers, Julian wasn’t ready to let
her go (not that a sibling should ever have to let another sibling go).
The following morning, she skipped out of his life, out of all of our
lives.
“Mommy, will she still love us?” David asked me during dinner one
evening that same week.
“Of course, she will, David.” I
answered, glad to know he tried to process this event.
Mike then asked him, “Do you still love her?”
He said he did, and we all agreed we would never stop loving her. She
would forever have our hearts.
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