Understanding His Purpose

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

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Gaining a Son

I lay awake in bed last night

with you heavy on my mind.

I remembered how my plans changed,

while watching the last year in rewind.

I thought I lost everything
when my dream crumbled before my eyes.
My hope of mothering your siblings
came to a screeching halt after many tries.

So angry with my heavenly Father,
so hurt down to the core,
so humiliated and embarrassed,
what could it all have been for?

When I reached a point of surrender
and trusted Him with them once more,
suddenly you appeared in the picture,
and I saw hope I didn’t see before.

My heart caught hold of a purpose,
your presence helped me finally grieve.
I began to love you as I loved them,
and I gained a new son, I believe.

A year after everything crumbled,
after picking up the debris from the bomb,
you wrote the words that confirmed it for me,
when you started to call me “Mom.”