Seeking approval again

I dealt with fear every day, thinking I might lose Julian, too, one day. Our connection still remained “secret.” I knew I could accept the loss better than I accepted losing his siblings because at least I saw a purpose. Our relationship with him strengthened his trust in God. That alone would have given me a sense of closure if I ever needed it.

Continuing our quest to bring Julian to the States, I contacted the community college about him. A kind lady led me through all the paperwork he would need.

“I just want you to know, though, that his status as an orphan might make it difficult for him to gain a visa. I have a few suggestions of things he can do to give himself a better chance, though.”

When I shared all the information with Julian, it overwhelmed him. He wanted to talk to the orphanage director first so she could help with the paperwork.

I freaked out, positive she would not react well to his connection with us. I braced myself emotionally for another huge loss. I prayed my heart out, and we waited. Several days passed, yet we heard nothing from Julian.

“We lost him.” My heart felt so heavy with sadness as Mike and I discussed our assumption that our fear of losing him turned into a reality. I sure would miss him. I grew to love that boy more than I ever imagined.

By the end of the week, after yet another night in tears, I did hear from him again. He talked with the director, who cared dearly for him, and she reacted very positively regarding this possibility. She told him to talk with both his social worker and his psychologist, along with his legal defender.

Those titles alone scared me, especially the psychologist. The psychologist over our adoption case stood so firmly against our ability to parent an adoptive child. The thought of another Colombian psychologist involved again left a bitter taste in my mouth. Even in a completely different situation, my nerves went crazy while we waited on their “approval” of us.

About a week passed before Julian found a chance to talk to everyone involved, and we both breathed a huge sigh of relief when they all showed positive reactions. We no longer felt a need to keep quiet about our relationship with him. His social worker showed the only negative response from anyone, only because she wished he’d told her first. She constantly looked out for him to find him opportunities. She meticulously worked to find the best possible future for the kids who never get adopted. If an opportunity like this existed for him, she needed to know about it.

Julian gave them all my e-mail address, and they said they would contact me. I collected all the information from the community college to give to his social worker as soon as she contacted me.

 Meanwhile, our relationship with him grew by leaps and bounds now that everyone knew about it. Our love for him grew more every day, as did his love for us. We became the family he’d always dreamed of having. We also became his prayer warriors, along with our entire adult class at church. So many people prayed for him and the direction his future might take him, more than he will ever know, probably more than we ourselves will ever know. I loved him like a son, and I told him so as often as I could. When I prayed for David every morning, I prayed for him, too.