A reason to sing

A few days later, I sat at my kitchen table with my computer open, chatting again with Julian. David and I prepared to leave the next morning for a weeklong vacation at my parent’s house. I told Julian I would try my best to stay in touch while on vacation.

“I love you and miss you every day we don’t connect with one another. I pray for you every day.” I wanted him to know how I cherished him.

“I pray for you every day, too.” His response surprised me.

 “Julian, how do you know so much about God?” I truly wanted to know.

“When I still lived with my mom, a neighbor used to take both me and my brother to a Protestant church with her. We went with her every week for about a year. She also invited us to her house all the time and taught us stories from the Bible.” I sure had a lot of respect for that dear neighbor. She gave those boys a solid foundation to stand on.

It finally hit me. God began to pursue a relationship with this young man at the age of nine, and He held him firmly in His grip over the last eight years. Now God brought another Christian family, our family, into his life to build upon a foundation already laid. Maybe our entire experience didn’t fail, after all. Maybe our “failed” adoption actually led us straight to the “child” chosen for us, waiting for us. Straight to Julian.

With only a year left in the orphanage before living on his own as a legal adult, he needed a family to lean on for support, love, and encouragement at such a critical time in his life. God, in His sovereignty, connected us to him not long after he accepted facing the future alone.

“I’m beginning to think all of this was for you.” I wrote back to Julian that evening.

 “Yeah, I’ve been thinking the same thing.” We both saw it. His response warmed my heart.

I still had a reason to sing. Hope lived inside me again. When I stopped asking why and demanding God give me answers, He showed me a purpose I couldn’t see. Now this story held more than I ever imagined. How did we miss and not even consider the needs of this sibling as we pursued adopting the other two? So intent to bring them home, we didn’t even really think about him and how losing his brother and sister might affect him.

Just because you’ve passed the allowable age for international adoption doesn’t mean you don’t need a family for company and support. He cried out for one as desperately as his siblings did, if not more.

“When I was younger, I always hoped a family would adopt me. I’m too old now. I just want my brother and sister to be adopted while they’re still young.” He gave up hoping for a family for himself, accepting he faced the future alone. I can’t imagine having to feel that way, so totally alone in the world. No wonder he clung to our virtual relationship so tightly after the first time I told him I loved him.